#five is such a good character

[nikoco11]

AAAGHHHHHHHHHHH

finally finished this i’m happy!!!!!! she’s one of my favorite designs in game and my favorite designs i’ve ever drawn wahaahaaaa

[chloesimaginationthings]

Monty was supposed to be part of the FNAF crew..

[mysticalalleycat]

The way that Benedick's whole character shifts after Hero gets accused...rotating this in my head all day today

[orbiiance]

i have read every single hurt/comfort fic of this guy i can get my hands on. Twice.

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about how deeply lucanis' life has been defined by a lack of control of that life -- as he himself points out, even before the ossuary went and carved the headline out again with big bloody letters. of course he reacts badly to losing what little control he did manage to construct for himself even within those circumstances.

(namely: experience has taught him that things (caterina, loss, pain, love, all horribly and indelibly intermingled) will happen to him whether he wants them to or not and there's nothing he can do about that... but he gets to decide what's let in or out of his soul as it happens, even if he has to close it all down and deaden and numb himself out in the process. (even if that means he drifts further and further away from illario, who's been desperately reaching out and trying to keep hold of him until he finally gives up completely and tries to cut the bond all at once when lucanis doesn't seem to reach back anymore.) it's such rare well-observed freeze logic solidly constructed from the bottom up, I'm still so impressed with it.

the way illario seeks constant external means to cope with caterina's abuse and importance in his life -- he can't win her admiration or acceptance or warmth (or like. acknowledgement even, at times :') ), no matter what, so he goes out and finds those things in others and then disdains and dismisses it for how easily and falsely it's won from them. he plots, he conspires, he tries to beat her at her own game however clumsily, he tries. lucanis doesn't try things that way. he's not about 'how do I improve my situation' by nature, he's 'how can I stop this from getting worse'. he avoids, he internalizes, he hunkers down and makes himself nothing until the pain maybe ends. he's fundamentally not a plotter, he's a reacter. an expert assassin pantser, if you will, to illario's clear and stated exasperation fhsak. man I love them. illario says 'get us out of here!!! if you loved me as I love you you'd help me get us out of here before it kills us both', lucanis says 'there is no other place, there's nowhere to go, all we can do is endure. and if it kills us... well, that's just family. that's what love is (the way things are headed I'll die first anyway so it's fine I won't have to face losing you)', and they're equally baffled and hurt by each other's POV. but they're both right, and they're both wrong. there's no 'right' way to deal with caterina's treatment of them, or their situation. the house always wins, if you pardon the expression. house dellamorte still stands and that is what matters to caterina in the end more than anything.

it also fits so well b/c like... their core wounds are that illario is the least favourite and is constantly dismissed, so he has to prove to caterina again and again that he matters. not even that he's worth love or respect or warm regard, but that he's here at all and as such should be considered. he has to shout 'in case u forgot I EXIST!!' at the top of his lungs or else be rendered nothing within the family structure (and himself, because it's all about family, that's all that really matters. in some weird twisted way I think caterina openly declaring him before all the other crows to still be of house dellamorte -- and no one from house dellamorte kneels -- is kind of a victory for him, as much as it's also a furthering of a prison sentence and public humiliation. house dellamorte brainfuckery goes hard.). lucanis is the favourite, and it's the double-edged sword that he gets all the affection and attention but also all the control and impossible expectations. drowning under all of that constant stress and close evaluation, his brain whispers 'I don't exist' to try to escape, to hide and hold on to the deep parts of himself that are crucial to life but not part of the perfect grandson caterina demands of him as the price of her love.)

I think a lot about how what seems to disquiet lucanis the most post-ossuary (as it would anyone with that psychological makeup) is the dissolving of internal boundaries and control he's been relying on, which is part of what spite symbolizes. his anger and reactivity has seceded from the union to the point of personification as a little guy (a little guy he resents and fears for his unpredictability and invasions into regions of his psyche he wishes to stay frozen and barren, and yet cares about deeply, loves! and also constantly dismisses and frequently helplessly lets down unless he's helped to learn to do otherwise. does this remind you of another relationship in his life, perhaps. it makes me feel nuts to think about the illario/spite parallels thanks for asking), and now that little guy is out there running the show freely the moment he glances away or closes his eyes. literal nightmare scenario I feel for him so deeply. so much of his coping is predicated on being able to Not do or feel or want certain things, and that's out the window now, Spite has Opinions. Spite refuses to stay wisely in place even if that place is hell on the logic that if you move you could find yourself in a place that's even worse, somehow. Spite actually wants to experience the world, however fucked up and scarring the way he arrived here, not just endure it. Spite means he has to face that maybe illario wasn't wrong all those years, at the same time as having to admit and face what illario has done to him, and figure out what to do about any of it.

anyway. mary kirby ma'am that's some good fucking metaphor work. thank you, and sorry about all the shit that happened

[sunlitsighs]

thinking about how maomao's pain and poison thresholds are so high that she barely feels any injuries she's had, so much so that even when the gash in her leg opened (repeatedly and on multiple occasions, from her overstraining her body) she would only notice because of the blood, but when jinshi bites her (ref light novel volume four, p.219) she can feel it... that's a metaphor, to me

[crumbpigeon]

the stars will be your eyes, and the wind will be my hands

[punchymon]

Doodles! Thinking about em' again

[pestercide]

Average butch and fem gal

[stonesense]

huge fan of one of my rooks whose only distinguishing features are his face (beloved) and my overwhelming inexplicable certainty that he was found somewhere with visible autopsy scars and complete amnesia a couple years ago by whatever faction leader i feel like handing him to, and approaches everything with zero thoughts and a kind of golden retriever “just happy to be here!” mentality

[jackattack20writes]

Also as a more serious post I keep seeing claims that Gquuuuuux is telling a story about Gundam or is doing “uc slop” or sudden rebuild bullshit in the last five eps but no it’s not. It’s telling a story about two possibly three teenagers proving that they have the right to decide their own destinies and not be bound by what the older generations have decided for them. It’s just that it’s achieving that by using the most iconic parts of Gundam to represent the older generations.

The UC “bullshit” is the culmination of the shows thesis about how the newer generations need to be left free to chart their own paths. Nyaan and Machu represent two ways in which younger people live with this. Nyaan aimlessly floats through life without convictions or passion for what she’s doing, her only wants restricted to her needs while she pines for what she truly wants but is unwilling to grab it until her hand is forced, and Machu is raging against the bonds holding her with no regards to what happens if she breaks free, she just knows she needs to be free becuase that’s worth whatever she’ll lose in the process. And then if I’m right about Shuji (and even if I’m not the earlier stuff with the red Gundam still fits) he’s the total loss of identity outside of the older generations wants and needs he no longer has his own id or ego he’s subsumed by the older generation and mirrors them (like those kids whose parents never made it in sports or whatever but they “totally could’ve” so the kids are forced to push themselves to the brink no matter what they actually want to enable their parents need to vicariously live through them.)

The fight against RX-78 isn’t just them fighting to prove their universe’s inherent right to exist but also the younger generations right to chart their own paths. This is why Challia and Kycilia’s treatment of Nyaan and Machu are so contrasting, Kycilia impose her own values and beliefs on Nyaan and Nyaan fights against them, she used the gun she was given to protect her self to protect someone else finally choosing what she wants rather than floating along. While Challia gave Machu the freedom to do what she felt was necessary and her gun was used to free herself and the Gquuuuuux to not only achieve what they wanted but to reach their full potential with the omega psycommu. It’s the same reason Challia doesn’t want to kill Xavier. he let Xavier go the way he wanted to and do what he felt was necessary and even though they’ve ended up on opposite sides he doesn’t want to take that freedom away from him in death. Whereas Kycilia was fully willing to kill Nyaan as soon as she didn’t align with her beliefs. And I think this is partly why Challia was chosen and written the way he is. He’s not an icon of Gundam like Char, Lalah, Kycilia, Amuro or even the titans. He’s of the og series but isn’t bound by it, it’s why he can straddle the line of being of the older generation but not trying to bind the newer generation to what they decide and be the only one willing to let them have the freedom they deserve.

The RX-78’s appearance is the manifestation and climax of this, the gquuuuuux timeline isn’t doing what it’s supposed to so it must be destroyed. This isn’t a show about Gundam, its not a meta story about Gundam needing to move past the UC timeline, it’s a show using the most iconic example of the old generation that Gundam will ever have to be the final boss in Nyaan and Machu’s journey to prove that they have a right to decide their own destinies. It’s why Beyond the Time works so well at the end of ep 11, it’s not only a callback but a call to arms for Nyaan and Machu to change their destiny and futures and share the happiness that’ll come from being finally, truly free.

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike and Vanessa swapped vibes,,

[feralnumberfive]

I love these posters so much

[laurrelise]

prove me wrong: tua s4 was a giant aidan gallagher thirst trap written and created by yours truly steve blackman

[stormte]

I’ve been reading @somerandomdudelmao ‘s apocalyptic series because I’ve been too fucking lazy to actually check it out until now

Honestly i really need to get more dynamic poses out onto the page, thanks cass for the inspo

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

I’m just sayin. If Monty wasn’t made of metal, I’d definitely use his titties as a pillow on the reg

(This is a set of doodles I like to call, “Moon has a teenaged girl moment when he realizes that he is toothpick shaped”)